Forgiveness Is for You, But So Is Therapy

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Letting go of bitterness doesn’t mean returning to unhealthy relationships.

The Church has long emphasized the power and necessity of forgiveness. This is biblical and right. Jesus Himself said, “If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:15). Forgiveness is not optional in the life of a believer—it is essential.

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But forgiveness was never meant to replace emotional healing, personal growth, or godly wisdom. Scripture calls us not only to forgive, but also to pursue peace, understanding, and wholeness. Too often, believers are taught to "move on" quickly in the name of grace, rather than walking through the necessary process of healing. That is not holiness—it is avoidance.

Forgiveness Is a Command, Not a Shortcut

Biblical forgiveness is a decision to release the offender from the debt they owe us. It is a spiritual act of surrender, not an emotional erasure. The Apostle Paul wrote, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

Yet forgiveness does not mean pretending it never happened. Jesus forgave Peter for denying Him, but He also addressed the denial directly (John 21:15–17). True reconciliation is built on both grace and truth (John 1:14). Love does not ignore wounds—it seeks healing.

The often-quoted verse, “[Love] keeps no record of wrongs” (1 Corinthians 13:5), has been misunderstood to imply that we should forget the offense entirely. But the original Greek word logizetai refers to an accounting term—keeping a ledger of offenses to hold them against someone. Forgiveness removes the penalty, but it does not require amnesia. Jesus, who forgave His enemies on the cross, still bore the scars of their actions (John 20:27).

Therapy Is Not a Lack of Faith—It Is a Form of Wisdom

It is a mistake to assume that seeking professional help or counseling is a sign of spiritual weakness. In fact, Scripture affirms the value of wise counsel repeatedly:

“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”—Proverbs 11:14

“Plans are established by counsel; by wise guidance wage war.”—Proverbs 20:18

God is the Wonderful Counselor (Isaiah 9:6), but He also equips others with the gifts and insight needed to bring practical help. Many of the Psalms are David processing trauma before God. Job grieved deeply and wrestled with God through his suffering. Jesus Himself withdrew from crowds to rest, pray, and recover (Luke 5:16). If Christ, perfect and sinless, took space to reset, why should we be ashamed to do the same?

The Church must stop implying that prayer alone is sufficient to address all wounds. God often works through community, discipleship, and yes—trained, Spirit-filled counselors. Therapy does not replace faith; it strengthens and refines it.

Common Misconceptions Corrected by Scripture

Myth: If you still feel hurt, you haven’t truly forgiven.Truth: Emotional pain can remain even after forgiveness. Jesus forgave His executioners, but the crucifixion still caused immense suffering (Luke 23:34). Forgiveness is not the absence of pain—it is the absence of vengeance.

Myth: You don’t need therapy if you trust God.Truth: Trusting God includes trusting the ways He provides healing. God often sends help through others. Even Moses needed Jethro’s advice (Exodus 18:17–24), and Paul surrounded himself with partners in ministry. Refusing wise counsel is not faith—it is pride.

Myth: Love means never bringing up the offense again.Truth: Love does not hold a grudge, but it does confront in truth. Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love Me?” (John 21:15–17) to address the denial and initiate healing. Ignoring sin is not reconciliation—it is avoidance.

Forgiveness, Boundaries, and the Call to Wisdom

Forgiveness is not a license for others to repeat their harm. Scripture calls believers to guard their hearts (Proverbs 4:23), walk in wisdom (Ephesians 5:15), and avoid toxic influences (Proverbs 22:24–25; 1 Corinthians 15:33). You can forgive someone fully and still choose not to allow them back into the same space of influence or intimacy.

Boundaries are not unloving; they are biblical. Even Jesus walked away from crowds (John 6:15), confronted toxic behavior (Matthew 23), and chose not to entrust Himself to certain people because He knew what was in their hearts (John 2:24–25).

Conclusion: Healing Is a Process, Not a Performance

Forgiveness is an act of obedience. Therapy is an act of stewardship. Healing requires both the spiritual and the practical.

As 3 John 1:2 says, “Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.” God desires wellness in every area of life—spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical.

You don’t have to choose between Jesus and a therapist. Choose both. Forgive completely. Heal deeply. And walk in the freedom that Christ has made available—body, soul, and spirit.